Do we know ourselves?  

So often, people focus on their relationships with others that they forget to reflect on their relationships with themselves. Yet, neglecting this self-knowledge can have detrimental consequences. Recognizing our values and beliefs can prevent us from becoming lost in our daily tasks, and we can become subject to the world’s chaos without a strong understanding of ourselves. To avoid the fate of simply going through the motions of life, we must identify our values and put them into practice. Ultimately, the person we spend the most time with is ourselves, meaning we should handle this crucial relationship with lots of intentional care.  

What are values? 

A value is a significant ideal incorporated into dailiness and actions. They can range from spiritual and moral beliefs to daily habits for maintaining one’s values allowing people to live intentionally and purposefully. Moreover, they help form the structure of one’s identity. In my opinion, the most critical aspect of having values is living them out. Putting these values into practice can exponentially improve our lives by furthering our identities and making us more content with ourselves and our decisions.  

How do we determine our values? 

There are many ways to discover what you deeply care about and value. The most accessible place to start is by asking yourself when you feel the happiest in your life. From here, you may call to mind a specific business or person. However, this in itself is not a value. We must take another step and determine why that place or person brings out these feelings. Does this place remind you of your childhood memories or time spent with your family? Does a friendship with this person make you feel safe or comfortable? Then, a few of your values may be spending time with your family, ensuring safety, and finding comfort.   

Reflecting on why we perform certain actions or participate in specific activities can further the value-discovering process. If you find enjoyment in studying one subject but not another, why is this? Does science intrigue you or pique your interest? Maybe you value humans’ natural instinct to seek out the truth or explore nature. Do you dedicate part of your free time to practicing a sport or playing an instrument? You may value dedication and hard work. Exploring the why behind what we do in our lives reveals a deeper understanding of ourselves. 

Another question to consider when discovering your values may be how you would spend your time if you could change the past. Are there moments in history you feel are wasted? What were you doing during this time, and why do you think it was unimportant? Maybe you would have instead been spending time with friends or family, but instead, you spent that time playing video games or scrolling on your phone. Reflecting on time wasted can help you understand what you value to become more mindful in the future. 

How do values shape identity?   

Identifying our values bestows us a deeper understanding of our presence on this earth. Participating in activities that bring us joy or passion can be more easily achieved when we factor in our values. We can also understand why we have made previous decisions as well as feel confident in the choices we have yet to make. Furthermore, greater emphasis will be placed on spending time intentionally when values are identified and considered. Seeking out our values grows our relationship with ourselves and truly allows for an in-depth dive into self-discovery.